-Notion City, March 1, 1920 Letters to the Editor
Remove your head from the cavernous hole you've managed to shove it. You're idea to use the previous census for distribution of these food tickets is one of the most idiotic ideas I've heard in my lifetime. My wife and I were just married back in 1910, the last census. You want to take a guess at what has happened since then? Well, we've had two boys. Yes, that's right. Our family of two went to four within ten years. I know, that's amazing given the stretch of time.
Who'd have ever thought that possible? We certainly didn't see it coming! But now here's the real kicker. We've got to figure out how to feed the four of us on tickets allotted for two people. Fortunately, we've determined a fair way of doing this. The boys get breakfast, we get dinner and then we alternate lunches.
Yes, on some days my children eat one meal a day. Now, why am I being so selfish? Shouldn't the boys get the lunch and the parents only have one meal every day?
It's a little difficult having the energy to work a construction site on one meal a day. Especially, when the pressure around your head is causing you to think more of these towering bits of steel is a better use of tax payer money, and a better use of the fertile land. You're absolutely right. We should simply get rid of anything that would conceivably put more food in the hands of your growing populace.
You would not believe how many times I had to edit this letter. Mainly I did it so that I could be sure it would be posted. I'll be glad when this is all over, you'll receive a more personal letter, any remaining tickets we have (unlikely) and swift instruction on how they may be used to fill the hole your head is currently occupying.
Yours angrily,
Irate father of two who voted for you
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